I like my sex mixed with concussions.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
