i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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