I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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