the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
