Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
