I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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