She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
