don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
