if you like me you must not know who I am
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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