so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
