Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
