I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
