i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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