All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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