this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
