Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
