Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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