Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Boobs speak an international language.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
