just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
