If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
