Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
