is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
All the doctor said was why
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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