the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This is my gift to your gina
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
