guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
