Having a random hookup so left but love u
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize