I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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