What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
