i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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