i don't like sucking hair
I want to stick my p in your. b.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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