Will you blow on my dice?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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