we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
