you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
