did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
420 ftw
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
