He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
