We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
