its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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