It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
