how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
