STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Enjoy the penises
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
