ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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