what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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