remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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