Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
