she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
