scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize