She announced her abortion via fbk
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
