i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize