i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
