wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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