are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
