Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
