All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
