garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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