that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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