oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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