I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
