Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
