I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I smell like Dick and happiness
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
