im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I forget how to act sober
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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