i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
