Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
