YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
