He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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