Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
