She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
