Im at strip club and am horny
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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